Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

A few years ago, when I just had four children and when the oldest was still three, I loaded them all up to go on a walk. After the final sippy cup had found a place and we were ready to go, my two-year-old turned to me and said, “Wow! You have your hands full!”

She could have just as well said, “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Are they all yours?!”

Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.

A Rock-Bottom Job?

The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.

Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.

If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?

It's Not a Hobby

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.

Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.

Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.

Run to the Cross

But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.

Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back.

The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.

The Question Is How

The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?

It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.

Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.

Hands Full of Good Things

When my little girl told me, “Your hands are full!” I was so thankful that she already knew what my answer would be. It was the same one that I always gave: “Yes they are—full of good things!”

Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.

Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone.

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

Article reprinted in it's entirety from DesiringGod.org

Motherhood as a Missionfield

This article is such a good reminder for those of us who are at home caring for our families day in and day out...sometimes remembering, sometimes wondering about, sometimes dreaming of the scenery that is outside our four walls. What's going on inside our four walls is of monumental significance...

Motherhood as a Mission Field
June 16, 2011 by Rachel Jankovic

There is a good old saying, perhaps only said by my Grandfather, that distance adds intrigue. It is certainly true — just think back to anything that has ever been distant from you that is now near. Your driver’s license. Marriage. Children. Things that used to seem so fascinating, but as they draw near become less mystical and more, well, real.

This same principle certainly applies to mission fields too. The closer you get to home, the less intriguing the work of sacrifice seems. As someone once said, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom with the dishes.” When you are a mother at home with your children, the church is not clamoring for monthly ministry updates. When you talk to other believers, there is not any kind of awe about what you are sacrificing for the gospel. People are not pressing you for needs you might have, how they can pray for you. It does not feel intriguing, or glamorous. Your work is normal, because it is as close to home as you can possibly be. You have actually gone so far as to become home.

Home: The Headwaters of Mission

If you are a Christian woman who loves the Lord, the gospel is important to you. It is easy to become discouraged, thinking that the work you are doing does not matter much. If you were really doing something for Christ you would be out there, somewhere else, doing it. Even if you have a great perspective on your role in the kingdom, it is easy to lose sight of it in the mismatched socks, in the morning sickness, in the dirty dishes. It is easy to confuse intrigue with value, and begin viewing yourself as the least valuable part of the Church.

There are a number of ways in which mothers need to study their own roles, and begin to see them, not as boring and inconsequential, but as home, the headwaters of missions.

At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.

Faith Makes the Small Offering Great

If you are like me, then you may be thinking “What did I ever give up for them? A desk job? Time at the gym? Extra spending money? My twenty- year- old figure? Some sleep?” Doesn’t seem like much when you put it next to the work of some of the great missionaries, people who gave their lives for the gospel.

Think about the feeding of the five thousand when the disciples went out and rounded up the food that was available. It wasn’t much. Some loaves. Some fish. Think of some woman pulling her fish out and handing it to one of the disciples. That had to have felt like a small offering. But the important thing about those loaves and those fishes was not how big they were when they were given, it was about whose hands they were given into. In the hands of the Lord, that offering was sufficient. It was more than sufficient. There were leftovers. Given in faith, even a small offering becomes great.

Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?
Gain What You Cannot Lose in Them

So, if mothers are strategically situated to impact missions so greatly, why do we see so little coming from it? I think the answer to this is quite simple: sin. Discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment. Christians often feel like the right thing to do is to be ashamed about what we have. We hear that quote of Jim Elliot’s and think that we ought to sell our homes and move to some place where they need the gospel.

But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.

It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.

God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

This post has been copied, in it's entirety, from the Desiring God blog.

Easter Book List

Anyone who knows us well, knows that good books are important to us. We spend a lot of time reading and are always on the hunt for quality books that are meaningful and well written. We're enjoying several this month leading up to Resurrection Sunday and thought we would share the blessing.

The Lamb by John R. Cross, is a beautifully illustrated book. It takes a clear journey through the heart of the gospel story, laying a foundation beginning with the Genesis creation. A clear identification is made between the sacrificed lamb of the Old Testament and the crucified Saviour Jesus Christ for forgiveness of sins.

We read R.C. Sproul's children's books over and over around here; he is adept at presenting deep biblical truths to children on their own level. While The Prince's Poison Cup is one we enjoy all year, it is especially meaningful during the Resurrection season. In this theologically sound allegorical work, he focuses on the atonement to show that Jesus had to endure the curse of sin in order to redeem His people from spiritual death. The terrific illustrations are bonus.

This is the first year we've enjoyed Passion Hymns for a Kid's Heart by Joni Earekson Tada and Bobbie Wolgemuth. Steve and I love singing and reflecting on the deep truth of the old hymns; and their meaning and heritage is something we work hard to instill in the hearts of our kids. Passion Hymns is a collection of hymns that share the power of the cross and the joy of the resurrection. The book shares a Bible story related to each hymn and the cd is sweet; it's quality actually surprised me.
Of course, we're also looking forward to making our traditional Resurrection Cookies and might give Resurrection Rolls a try this year, too. He is Risen!!

Four Years, Seven Days

Last Wednesday we celebrated Giggles' 4th Birthday. What a happy day! She is so exuberant and full of life that she brings joy to any occasion, but when it's her birthday it's extra exciting.

She had faithfully done the birthday countdown for the week leading up to her day...and she didn't miss a beat; with fingers displaying the number of days left, she was 100% accurate. House FULL birthdays always start with a run to our small island grocery to pick up donuts for breakfast. Later in the evening, we had a small family party at home with her grandparents, our adopted great-grands and her siblings. "Small family party" is a relative term...

On Birthday Saturday, Daddy wakes up the birthday child while the other kids are still sleeping. They make a repeat run to the island grocery for a donut and strawberry milk and drive to the beach for a 'walk and talk'. It's a highlight for all, and Giggles was no exception as she returned home and bounced through the door...giggling.

Sunday night was the most anticipated event, however. Our church has recently reinstated the "Birthday Bank." Giggles marched into evening service with her four pennies carefully pocketed. When her turn came, she was almost beside herself with an ear to ear smile...her enthusiasm was so great, she could hardly stand still long enough to get her pennies into the bank!! Someone later asked me if she'd needed to use the bathroom while she was onstage. Nope, she was just that excited!! I really wish I'd had the video camera...

One of the greatest accomplishments of her third year was that she stopped sucking her thumb. Her success story is a depiction of her personality. At her semi-annual dental check up last summer, the dentist explained that pretty soon she'd need to stop sucking her thumb for the sake of her teeth. No big hurry, he said, just something to start thinking about. He then shared that when she stopped sucking her thumb for seven whole days, Mommy could make a call to his office and he'd send a present in the mail. Before we left, I whispered to the hygienist that she'd never do it; I still couldn't get this going-on-three-and-half-year-old potty trained!!

Three days after the appointment, Giggles came to me and stated matter-of-factly, "Mommy, I'm not sucking my thumb anymore." Hmmm...I hadn't noticed. But I started to pay attention. Sure enough, no daytime comfort sucking. I doubted she could be successful so quickly. That night I went up to check on her several times as she slept. While her hand was tucked up under her chin in a sucking position, her thumb was not in her mouth!! And she never sucked that silly thumb again. At the end of the week, we called the dentist to report the exciting news and, true to his word, he sent her a My Little Pony and a $10 Target gift card!!

And that's just how Giggles does life. She gets something set in her mind and does it (and she did finally get the potty thing down!!). Her determination and will, when directed properly, are something to be admired!!

She brings so much life to our days and truly is a ray of sunshine in our home. We can't imagine life without her and are so thankful for the gift the Lord chose to give us and let us keep.

We love you, Princess Bella Giggles!!

Severe Mercies

I have come to learn that blessings aren't necessarily what I always thought they were; the things I somehow believed God should grant me because I am His.

Very often, the Lord disguises His blessings as severe mercies. The trials of life that strip me of my resources and remind me that only in Him can I truly live. The agonies that crowd me to the foot of His cross. The healing that comes through pain, struggle and disappointment. Not the blessings I want; but the blessings I need.

The severe mercies of life. Because they are indeed His mercies.

I heard this song for the first time this morning. It is a sweet reminder of what the Lord has been faithfully teaching me over the past few years.

I especially love the last lines:

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. Lamentations 3:22

Two in One

Only a Peacemaker would be thoughtful and considerate enough to lose two teeth in the same day. That's just how she is.

Five...

I realize that it is entirely too cliche to begin a blog post with the phrase "where has the time gone?", but that is exactly what I'm asking myself today as my sweet baby boy turns five. FIVE!! To me, there is something so significant about five. It's like saying goodbye to babyhood and hello to boyhood with a single turning of the calendar page.

While he'll always be our little Davy Crockett and still sports his coonskin cap on a regular basis, he now aspires to the likes of Red Ryder. He straps his holster on, dons his cowboy boots and hat, tightens his red bandanna and with a twinkle in his eye, asks "Do I look him, Mom?"

He painstakingly writes pages and pages of words, carefully forming each letter, making sure he has perfectly printed the names of each and every member of his family. He loves memorizing Bible verses and answering questions during family devotions. He is not intimidated by being the youngest of the older pack; he is driven and motivated, desiring to prove he 'can' to himself more than to anyone else.

This little-big boy who began life so precariously is a daily reminder of the hugeness of God and the days He numbers.

This past week, we celebrated his 'last fours': the last time he would go to church as a four year old, his last bike ride as a four year old, his last bowl of cereal as a four year old, the last time I would kiss him goodnight as a four year old, and on and on. Though he was excited by the showering of attention, I'm quite certain the significance was lost on him.

He was looking ahead to five, while I wanted to stay in the land of four forever.

The land where matchbox cars are lined up by the mile, where exuberance and high-pitched squeals seem never ending, where l's and r's still sound like w's when he asks me to tie his shoes 'wee-wee tight', and where he still says 'Mommy, will you hold me?' Oh, I know these events will still occur; I know he won't stop immediately just because he's a day older than he was yesterday. But it's changing. He's changing.

He's growing, maturing, and coming into his own. There are moments when he's doing something inane like standing at the piano pounding at keys, but when I catch his profile, I see him in my mind's eye 10 years down the road: almost a man.

And it makes me want to savor every moment.

It reminds me that rather than telling him it's time to get off my lap so we can get our day started, I should deeply breathe his sweaty little boy morning smell; that when he asks me how to make a 'P' for the twentieth time this week, I should sit down with him while he makes rows and rows of 'Ps'; and that when he tracks in mud with his yellow rain boots, I should take a picture instead of telling him to go back outside. Because someday I'm going to wish it all back. And I have a feeling that some day isn't very far away.

Happy Birthday, Davy Crockett!! We are so blessed by the gift of you!!

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you... Jeremiah 1:5